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Hi everybody!

June 7, 2011

Its been a year and some change since I’v updated this blog and I’ve been feeling that blogging itch. And since at the moment, I’m only working full time (rather than working full time and in classes full time) I have both the head space and the motivation to write a little bit again.

So on the weight front, very little has changed. I’ve basically been maintaining for well over a year. I got to a point where I just didn’t have the brain real estate to actively diet. Plus I went through a long period where I was relying on food pantries and other such resources for a lot of my eating. I wasn’t going to worry about calories or macronutrient ratios when I was ecstatic to get a jar of peanut butter. In a slightly funny or at least not-expected-because-of-narratives-I-bought-into twist, my diet improved a bajillion percent once I got SNAP benefits (food stamps in the common parlance.) Being able to afford fresh fruit and veggies again is something I hope never to take for granted.

Maintainance is its own kind of work. And working at maintanance as a fat woman (still in the 30s BMI-wise) is interesting in terms of everyone else. I might blog about it some time if these awful writing urges don’t go away. So far, I haven’t found it to be all consuming or especially difficult. I’m also aware that I’m less than 2 years out and things can most certainly change.

Whether or not I’m going to try to lose more weight is something I haven’t decided. Some of my old goals still linger in the back of my mind. However, I don’t think I’m in the right space now for it. I feel like any change to my eating or exercising would veer sharply into that Capital D – Diet area that drives me crazy. Before, when I wanted to lose, I would look at my life and find places where change would be easiest. “Oh hey, I’m eating this huge breakfast and it wouldn’t bother me to cut a hundred calories from it. I can also replace my typical afternoon snack with a fruit smoothie and save another 150. And hey, I have all this time between 6pm and 8pm most nights where I’m just sitting on my keester. I bet I can find something a little more active that’s still relaxing.” Etc… Etc… Right now when I think of weight loss, I feel like any change would require sacrificing something I really enjoy. So for now I’m cool with where I am.

I hope everyone else has had a good year.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. June 17, 2011 5:23 am

    Kind of liberating, no? Congrats on being comfortable and mostly content, it’s hard in this culture, no matter what your weight or condition. Bad for business, though. Fresh fruits and veggies rule!

  2. June 21, 2011 4:27 am

    Fresh fruits and veggies are the best. Especially this time of year. The trail I’ve been jogging on has tons of raspberry bushes and the berries are just starting to ripen. Amazing.

    It is hard to be content. If I can be bothered, I may write about this, but it’s sad to me how much I sometimes feel like losing weight becomes a way to outrun self loathing. But it always ends up catching up with you in the end. Especially since being a still-fat maintainer gives me a peek into how much of the “just lose x percent of your body weight”, “just get healthier” rhetoric is bullshit.

  3. LuAnn permalink
    June 23, 2011 6:56 am

    Welcome back; as a new reader, I gather you have been gone awhile. My two cents here, meager as it is, is to say that I think you should continue to write about all of your feelings about foo/relationship to self kinds of issues as you see fit–whatever those feeling are. The obsession for some, compulsion for others, and need for many to lose weight is, pardon me, such a “weighty” topic that I feel it deserves wide berth in our ranges of expression about it. Thanks and keep writing–whatever you are feeling.

  4. July 11, 2011 5:41 pm

    Hi! Welcome back to blogging. You sound like you are hanging in there and taking care of yourself. Hope things go well for you, and will check in now that I know you will have new content.

  5. September 23, 2011 10:30 pm

    Hi Attrice! If you haven’t read DebraSY’s blog on weight loss maintenance, Debra’s Just Maintaining, I think you’ll really love it:

  6. Mama Sebo permalink
    January 2, 2012 3:41 am

    Stumbled across your blog, enjoyed reading, sorry to know that you’ve packed up shop, but here’s hoping you’ve moved on to something you want to be doing…

  7. fatterbastard permalink
    April 11, 2014 7:48 pm

    google bigger fatter politics for fat friendly news.

  8. Bunty Roy permalink
    September 16, 2018 10:37 pm

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