Know when to fold ’em
This isn’t necessarily a good bye post. I’m not planning on shutting down the blog or anything. It’s more of a declaration that this blog isn’t a priority these days. I’ve said what I wanted to say and I’m moving on.
Switching this blog over to a focus on my personal weight loss was mostly about wanting to show people that the act of losing weight didn’t have to be about punishment and suffering. I wanted to talk about how I was approaching losing weight mentally rather than detailing my daily menu or focusing on what the scale was saying. I found though that eventually I ran out of things to say about that. It’s not that I don’t still have insights or learn new things. This journey has been a constant balancing act. How to balance my goals with my environment. How to incorporate days or weeks of not-so-great eating habits without weight gain. Learning to order a favorite dish at a restaurant without turning the meal into a 1,500 calorie affair. Mainly though these insights have been personal ones and not some system that will automatically translate to other people. The most important thing, imo, was putting forth the idea that if you approach weight loss from the perspective of being body-positive, of not demonizing certain foods or punishing yourself with exercise then a lot of the little details involved with changing how you interact with your environment will be the ones that work best for you.
Over time then the focus of this blog shifted from my personal experiences to a kind of larger overview of some of the science of weight loss. I was so frustrated with what I saw almost everywhere on the internet when any talk of fat came up. People repeating old disproven ideas over and over again. People frustrated because some guru had promised that it wasn’t about energy balance but they weren’t losing *any* weight. People on every side abusing the poor old 1st law of thermodynamics in a way that breaks this physics major’s brain.
And then I realized two things: 1) There are people out there who know a fuckton more about the science of weight regulation than I ever will. some of these people are online and sharing this knowledge. There really isn’t a need for me to fumble through my undergrad-level understanding of these issues on this blog.
2) The vast majority of people – even people who claim to be rooted in science – will ignore any evidence they need to in order to keep their beliefs intact. I certainly am not changing minds or even giving people much to think about. My dream/hope of being a kind of bridge between the FA camp and the weight loss camp was just not gonna happen. It doesn’t matter that being overweight probably shouldn’t be lumped in with being ‘morbidly’ obese in terms of health risks – we’ll still get to hear that 2/3rd of america is going to dieeeeee constantly. It doesn’t matter that equating a reasonable moderate diet with starvation is like equating going for a jog with an ultra-marathon. If it works to score a cheap point, it’ll get trotted out again and again.
Hmmm, this sounds bitter. I don’t feel bitter. I just am not interested in blogging about any of this anymore. In a little less than two years, I’ve lost 78lbs. There will be no before/after pics. I can’t pretend the weight loss has fundamentally changed who I am or solved all of my problems. I also can’t ignore the ways it has made my life so much better. I’m continuing to lose weight and my end goal is still just to find a weight where I reach a happy equilibrium.
So this isn’t some kind of official end to this blog. I have another project – somewhat inspired by this blog – that I’m in the process of setting up. I’ll provide a link when it’s ready. And I may find little pieces of information or personal insights that I’ll want to blog about here, but I suspect those will be few and far between.