Tracy Anderson: Awesome trainer or most awesomest trainer ever?
So maybe you’ve heard of celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson. “Responsible” for Madonna’s arms and for Gwyneth’s skinny bod in “Iron Man.” She’s recently opened up a studio with Gwyneth Paltrow, where, for the measly sum of $900 per month* you too can learn the awesome secrets to ultra-thin wiryness.
Oh, you don’t have $900 to spare? Poor thing.
Well, don’t fret because I have the skinny (get it?) on Ms Anderson’s method. Many Bothan spies died to bring you this so pay attention. Maybe grab a notepad or something.
Starve yourself and work out twelve hours every week.
Oh, there’s some more details too, of course. Make sure you turn the heat way up when you do her workout. Don’t worry about why, it’s science. Also, never lift anything heavier than 3lbs! Because everyone knows the worst way to build muscles is to lift heavy things. You’ll need some help carrying groceries, picking up your children, using dictionaries, making spaghetti, doing laundry, bathing the dog…. but that’s ok. You don’t want to bulk up, do you?
Speaking of no bulk, check out Tracy’s awesome diet advice. I didn’t know spices made you fat? WOW! Science revolution going on here. And check out that menu. I don’t think there’s a day where your intake would go over 1000 calories. But don’t worry because Dr. Tracy did a double-blind five year study of this method on her own, she assures us and I’m sure she would have no reason to just completely make some shit up.
You better hope you can manage to eat all that food though because Tracy’s six two-hour workouts each week will be using every ounce of energy you’ve consumed (literally.) Her signature method: a blend of dance, pilates and secret moves given to her by a Nigerian prince she met through the internet is the only way to get results. No other type of workout, if done for 12 hours a week, could result in weight loss.
Now, some people might tell you that you can just lift heavy things, make small changes to your diet and not pay thousands of dollars to get results. But do that and you might end up looking something like this woman
*You’ll also have to pay an initiation fee, of course. I mean, you can’t expect to join a gym for less than $1500 a year, can you?
ecause this entry keeps getting a lot of hits from people searching for things like “how to eat like tracy anderson” or “gwyneth paltrow’s diet” and lots of outgoing traffic to the article on Tracy Anderson’s diet plan, I felt like I needed to say something.
This woman, Tracy Anderson, does not have any kind of special magic knowledge. I don’t care that she’s skinny or that Gwyneth and Madonna are also skinny. I don’t care that she was on Oprah. I don’t care that there are people out there desperate, rich and/or stupid enough to pay $900/month to train at her facility. There is absolutely nothing new or revolutionary about what she is doing.
If you eat much less food than you need (aka: starve yourself) and workout 12 hours per week, then you will lose weight. You could eat all of you daily calories from twinkies and exercise only by doing a gentle walk for two hours, you would still lose weight.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret the diet and fitness industry don’t always want you to know: results are really easy to get. It’s really not hard to get people to drop weight. You find a way to get them to cut their calorie intake – in Anderson’s case, you give them a meal plan which doesn’t ever contain more than 1200 calories in a single day – and/or you sell them some great new exercise paradigm (which only serves to burn calories like every single other type of exercise out there.)
Success is really hard to come by though. What’s success? Continuing to lose weight beyond the first few months. Maintaining a weight loss for years without having to give up a ridiculous amount of time or mental energy. Being healthier, stronger and fitter (not just fitting into children’s jeans.) For a diet/fitness guru who claims to have some super new method, success would mean, imnsho, doing this for many people.
What has Tracy Anderson actually done? She has kept two women who have always been thin, thin. She spends hours each week working out with them personally. They both have people that can prepare fresh, possibly tasty food for them. Wow, give me two women who have never even been overweight, give me hours to train with them and give them each a chef and I too will keep them thin.
I don’t know why you’re interested in this woman. Maybe, like me, you are fascinated and frustrated by how it always seems that the people in the fitness industry who know the least get the most attention. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that beauty only happens between sizes 00 and 2. Maybe you’re not healthy or happy and you’re desperate to feel better.
If you’re in the last two categories, do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time or especially your money on people like Ms Anderson. Really, starving yourself and spending 2 hours a day, six days every week on exercise is not a revolution, it’s a disorder. There is good information out there on how to improve health regardless of weight and there are many many many people out there writing about health, self-image and living your life in bodies of all sizes.
So go ahead and eat plenty of nourishing and delicious food, feel free to pick up things that are heavier than 3lbs and don’t give people like Tracy Anderson any more undeserved attention or money.