What I’m doing and why
So far I’ve been really meta with these posts. Both because I’m honestly trying to figure out my own thoughts and because I want to be sensitive to the fact that this blog is still on the fatosphere feed. At this point though I think most people who regularly read the feed are hip to the fact that the general theme of this blog has changed.
I really don’t want this to be a weight loss blog in the sense of daily posts about what I ate or weekly updates on my scale, but what’s the point in protesting that weight loss doesn’t have to entail hunger or misery if I don’t actually explain how that might work. I know that only a year ago I would have seriously doubted anyone who told me such a thing – or I would have assumed that they must have previously had some kind of damaged/disordered relationship with food which is kind of weird, but whatever. The point being that one of the big reasons I resurrected this blog 3 months after I closed up shop is that I talked to more and more people in my position. People who wanted, for various reasons, to lose weight, but were absolutely not interested in the self-hatred/flagellation that is so encouraged in fat people. People who worked against fat discrimination, but mainly steered clear of FA communities, or stayed silent in them because they felt awkward about ‘hiding’ their weight loss. I don’t think FA must change to include us or anything, but I figured why not create the kind of space that’s supportive of weight loss without abandoning the ideals of dignity and respect for people regardless of size.
So the next couple of posts will be addressing exactly what I’m doing wrt changes in eating and exercising and my reasons behind these various changes.
The thing I think I want to address before I start getting into the nitty gritty is to talk about why I want to lose weight.
I could probably write a lot about this, explaining, in detail, how my thoughts on it changed. How these changes were inspired by the very healthy things I was doing for my body blah blah blah blah blah. Truthfully, I would probably only end up inviting lots of comments dissecting every little thing I said and insisting that I just wasn’t doing HAES right or that I just need to accept that not everyone is an athlete. Instead, I’ll keep it short.
Health: I’ve been diagnosed by one doctor with PCOS. Two other doctors said no, the symptoms and blood test point more towards general metabolic syndrome. Either way, I have hormonal issues that have led to menstrual issues. My blood sugar and triglycerides also run high unless I’m very careful with my diet. Yes, I could absolutely take medication to address some of these issues. No, I am not someone who fetishizes ‘natural’ solutions or thinks that medications are poison. At this point and at my age I want to try getting rid of some body fat first since the hormones secreted by body fat and the issues caused by large amounts of abdominal fat are implicated in some of the problems associated with metabolic syndrome.
Fitness: I believe that I am currently very fit for my size. I workout. I stay active. But there are still plenty of things I find very difficult (getting up more than 2 flights of stairs) that I believe will improve when I don’t have to work so hard to overcome gravity. I’m not interested in running marathons, but I want to climb pyramids and go to ropes courses and hike the kind of hills where you have to pull yourself up by your hands and knees. Also, I’ve always dreamed on being able to climb a rock wall. Again, gravity puts a damper on this. Maybe I should move to the moon?
As always, comments are open, and I welcome hearing from people, but keep in mind that none of what I said is a judgement on people who take medication or aren’t interested in swinging from ropes 50ft off the ground. Health and fitness are very much subjective in that people tend to evaluate themselves based on whether or not they’re able to do those things that are important and interesting to them.
So tomorrow’s post will address mindful eating. Stay tuned.