Skip to content

Never enough

December 19, 2007

Here’s the thing about exercise and eating lots of healthy nummy food; you absolutely have to do it because it makes *you* feel good.

Exercise because it helps relieve stress, because it gives you energy to get through your day, do it because you love to feel your heart pumping and working and getting stronger.

 Find veggie dishes that make your mouth water, pile salads high with your favorite things and then put any kind of fatty dressing you want on top.

Eat fruit in season so you can enjoy the best flavor and, when not in season, bake ’em up in pies and crisps.

But for the love of all that is good and holy, don’t do it hoping that it’ll make you smaller and do not do it to get approval from anyone. Cuz I have a secret. It will never ever be enough.

 Never ever ever ever.

I think most of the people who read my blog know this, of course. But I also know how frustrating it can be when faced with someone hostile to fat people, someone who repeats the stereotypes of sedentary, bingeing fat people. And that it can be tempting to just want to throw your healthy habits in their face. And there’s no reason not to really so long as you understand that it doesn’t matter to them.

And if you, as I have seen some people say, feel guilty because you are sedentary or you eat foods that aren’t Meme Roth approved, stop. You’re not bringing the fat acceptance movement down.

Virulent anti-fat assholes only care about one thing when it comes to fat people. That they are fat. The health concerns are a way to make the hatred palatable. To make give it a veneer of tough love and hide the truth of it.

This is why no matter what you eat and what kind of exercise you do, you’ll be doing it wrong. You see, you’re not doing it right until you’re no longer fat. So whatever you eat and whatever you do for exercise, you will be told to change it. To cut out more carbs/fat/calories. To add an hour more to your gym time. And if you do that? Well, it will be obvious that you’re still not doing it right.

Thin = right. Fat = wrong.

Now this doesn’t mean that pointing out that fat people and thin people have very similar eating and exercise habits is useless. Nor is it a problem to point to your own healthy habits when confronted with someone insisting that you must lounge on your giant bed eating bonbons all day. Only that people who hate us are constantly looking for ways to justify their hatred and even if you are a fat macrobiotic marathoner, they will find a piece of candy or a day of rest in your life and use it as ‘proof’ of your slothful and gluttonous nature. So don’t give these people too much of your energy and don’t ever feel bad for not living up to their standards.

Advertisements
3 Comments
  1. pennylane permalink
    December 19, 2007 6:42 pm

    I have found this also works in reverse. When I was thin I never got comments about my health in spite of obvious unhealthy habits (smoking, insomnia, not eating, overexercising). When you are fat, nothing is ever enough and when you are thin everything is just right. Except when I put on “too much” muscle which made me “too masculine”. So, ok, you’re right–never enough!

  2. librarychair permalink
    January 4, 2008 2:00 pm

    Thank you, I needed this reminder that living against a stereotype is not going to convince anyone. Anyone living in Michigan in the winter will tell you that it’s hard to get restless enough to actually WANT go out into the wind and attempt a trek across the ice. (Forget going to the gym, I’m not brave enough to surround myself with all that body hatred!) So as I hibernate in my poorly heated apartment I’ve been worried about living up to the stereotype of fat and lazy – but though everyone else in the state is doing the same thing (or wants to) at this point, no matter what their size, no amount of hypothermia is going to convince my neighbors that I’m not lazy.

  3. rebecca permalink
    January 14, 2008 4:08 pm

    So whatever you eat and whatever you do for exercise, you will be told to change it. To cut out more carbs/fat/calories. To add an hour more to your gym time. And if you do that? Well, it will be obvious that you’re still not doing it right.

    Thin = right. Fat = wrong.

    Oh my god – this is EXACTLY what everyone said to me when I started gaining weight! Depsite telling them that I was eating more healthfully and exercising more than I had been, they just wouldn’t believe me. I was gaining, so I must be eating crap and sitting around. Even my doctor. He just WOULD NOT believe me. I had to do all the research myself, and when I finally, FINALLY, after more than a year, found the answer (my medication), he acted like he’d come up with it, and never apologized for not listening to me.

    Insane. And then there’s the story about the time I went to church and the lesson took a distinct fat-bashing turn (God is punishing you for not taking care of yourself…etc). To this day, I’m ashamed that I was too embarrassed by my weight to speak up.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: