Soooo slowwwwww
I’ve been going back to this entry a lot lately. Though when I wrote that I absolutely believed in my commitment to being relaxed and unconcerned with the speed at which I lost weight, I find that as it approaches the one year mark for this diet/lifestyle change/call it whatever you want, it’s a little harder to be so cool.
I’m still unpacking the reasons for this. Unfortunately I think there’s still a bit of “this needs to happen fast so my REAL life can start” lurking in my mind. Fortunately, I’ve found the best cure for this is to throw myself into lots of enjoyable activities. That way when that thought pops up, I can easily see how ridiculous it is.
Otherwise, I’m still trying to sort it all out. I’m not unhappy with the progression of my strength and fitness. I feel really good these days. I have more energy than I’ve had in over a decade.
Maybe it comes down to feeling like I’ve worked at something for a year without the astounding before/after pictures that people love to look at. I’ve gone from a fat woman to a slightly-more-compact fat woman and it’s all rather anti-climactic.
As a society, and one of the main things we learn in size acceptance, is that we are focused on numbers that dont really matter.
What does matter is your strength and your health, and it is awesome that those have improved. But, since we, as a society, are focused on results, either in appearance or weight, it can seem like its not going anywhere.
Oh geez! You sound just like me! I’m struggling with losing my “steam” while I’m pushing myself along to keep myself in the losing game.
Today I got a supportive note from a 72 year old woman. She started losing at her highest weight, 351 lb, many years ago. She’s down to 206 lb and is so looking forward to Onederland. It took her a long time to figure things out, but she’s glad to be on the right track, even at her age, and it sounds like she’s never going to quit.
Yes, one pound a month is all I seemed to be able to accomplish over the last year, and I have gotten very impatient with myself and took some action to hasten the process lately, but even so, I’m not going to be losing at that really sexy rate of weight loss that comes complete with those before and after photos.
Absolutely live life now! When we’re 72, what we’ll want to do might look really different than what we want to do now.
I understand and have experienced your frustration. I don’t really know that there’s anything that you can do, other than offer you a concept from my Bingey class: radical acceptance. Basically this says that there isn’t any alternative, so accept that that’s the way it is even if you don’t like it. It doesn’t speed anything up, but may ease a bit of frustration. I don’t know how much you’ve lost in your year, but whatever it is, you’re further along than you were a year ago, right? I constantly battle impatience as well, but recognize it as something that will ambush me if I allow it. I made significant progress in a year, but only because I only had a 45 pound goal, though I didn’t reach that goal, not yet anyway.
I know. It took me 2 1/2 years to reach my goal weight. The weight loss won’t change your life– other actions will. Lots of people gain their weight back, because the “magic” didn’t happen, and their lives weren’t magically different.
Think like this: how exactly do I envision my life changing? Then, figure out how to take those steps now, while you are still losing.
Dang… there are a lot of us in this boat…